I am not much of a crier. There is nothing wrong with me, I just don't seem to need to cry very often. Well I cried yesterday. I cried and cried. My kids were staring at me and tears were just streaming down my face---for two hours (off and on). What was I crying about? This is the story:
I sat down in front of the computer to find some pictures I needed for scouts. As I begin to look for them I couldn't find them on our external storage device(which is where I store all my pictures). I looked on both computers and they weren't there. I couldn't find any pictures from 2008. I begin to panic. Baby Ashley was born in 2008, there weren't any pictures of her birth. No Easter. No Christmas. No Halloween. The tears began to flow. No pictures of Sarah's first bike ride, Ashley's first food, Ashley crawling, sitting up, standing, Jayce's 7th birthday, Lizzy's 3rd birthday, nothing. NOTHING. I was devastated. I couldn't believe it. Gone, all gone! I cried. I felt such a deep loss. A year gone. Now, a year in the real world isn't much, but in the life of a baby and little kids its a huge part of their life-for Ashley her whole life. I tried to remember what Ashley looked like at 2 months, 4 months, 6 months--I couldn't remember! I cried even more. I called my husband and cried some more. He told me not to worry, when he got home he would check it out. I continued to search on the computers for the missing files. Meanwhile, my kids were a little worried. I don't think they have ever really seen me cry. They kept looking at me and standing close to me. I explained to them what had happened and so they kind of understood. Sarah brought me a picture that she had drawn of outside with a sun and tree and I love you written on the front and back of the page. It was to replace some of the pictures that were lost. Jayce told me that there was still one good thing-I could take pictures of the rest of their lives. They were trying to comfort me. What sweet kids. Then I remembered that I had done a year in review book on snapfish a few months ago. I quickly got online and looked through the pictures. Oh, thank goodness. There was about 100 pictures spanning the year. I still was sad, but I felt so grateful that there were at least 20 of Ashley's first year. I still felt terrible so I called my mom and cried a little more.
The rest of the day was quiet for me and I was still feeling sad, but I was indeed grateful for the few pictures that were left. I left for scouts and when I came home I went to the computer and was messing around for 45 min or so. I have a cold so I was sniffling a little. Jason came in and asked me if I was crying. I said that I wasn't I just have a cold. He said that was good because he had found my pictures! I said what? Where? I wanted to see them immediately. It turns out my computer didn't have a map or something to the external hard drive?! He fixed it to my great relief and now I have them. All of them--all 2,778 pictures. Holy Cow -that is a lot of pictures! I am so grateful for a husband who knows what he is doing. I cried for nothing. well-not exactly nothing. I did realize how much I love pictures, how I love my children at every stage and don't want to forget it, and mostly how sweet those little faces are. These are some of the pictures I would have "lost."























It really would have been sad. I'm glad I still have the pictures and the memories.